…the more you can cope with it. Therefore, do not fear expectation of panic or pain. You will grow more able to deal with it, not less. It will be de-mystified by understanding, and you will realize that it is very much bearable.
And more importantly, under your control.
As your brain and nervous system heals, it may have setbacks. But these also will heal. And you will become better at anticipating, and parrying, the jagged blades of such demons.
Remember, you have grown stronger already. You have built connections with friends, and re-opened the door to family. You are resolving yourself; spiritual, physical, emotional. No return to your old, complacent self. This is the path to a more mature you. Bear it.