Narcissism

Narcissism is to make a complex labyrinth of yourself and cardboard cut outs of everybody else.

My pain, my desires, my needs, my justifications, my fears, my words.

This disease of the mind, in the politician means mass-terror, in the parent means domestic tyranny, in the artist means indulgent meaninglessness.

How insane our race must have become to manifest so many narcissists. How far down the rabbit hole our language and metaphysics has dragged us to spawn an entire culture of self-obsessives.

And it is a hopeless obsession. For the self, as much as anything else, cannot ever be wholly grasped. Turn within and you will find nothing there. That is why narcissism is a doomed quest to no-where, it has no object and no end point.

The void is the void is the void is the void is the void…

What I fear as psychosis, the snapping of emotional stability and the incapacity of thought, reveals what is a terror to my narcissistic, security-seeking ego.

Emptiness for all eternity.

The deeper you try to go into yourself the deeper yet you have to go, and deeper yet, until you find you roam in a long, futile circle (small insects navigating a large round table never realize the futility of  their energy-expenditure. Short-sighted human beings are no different). What is ‘depth’ truly, when all is wash on the surface of the storm in the cosmos that is generated life?

Futile or no, the obsession with the self is imprinted into us. Who would truly choose to evolve into something so decadent and selfish, when there is a world of constant flux to reach into and become into? I do not think people choose to become narcissists, only to maintain their sorry fate.

And it is hard to undo.

To self-destroy this lie of the ego is a painful process, a gap we must try to leap and deliberately fail, plummeting to face the cold truth of death and fleetingness, our only solace that this is the ultimate annihilator of human hubris, the equalizer that gives every tyrant, narcissist and abuser their due. Hard is it to believe that we can fully overcome the wretchedness of our inheritance. Human beings need something beyond themselves to be free, but this is not god.

The opposite of narcissism is annihilation…

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